The Beer Retard - May 10th, 2002

greetings from our nation's capitol. i'm killing some time before we head off for our idyllic weekend in maryland. the scary thing is that i'm already tiring of family, yet the family-intensive part of the trip hasn't even begun. i've spent a good portion of this morning thinking about how much beer we'll need to bring to get through it. my sister assures me that there's a store near where we're staying if emergency alcohol runs are necessary. i know it's sounding like i'm using booze as a crutch and showing signs of being a borderline alcoholic, but come spend some time with my family and you'll understand.

we haven't done much here in DC. a lot of eating, too much sitting around and waiting and a a little touristy sightseeing. yesterday, we went over to arlington and did a tour of the cemetery. just our luck, we got stuck with 60 bratty thirteen year-olds from jersey. all the boys were acting pseudo-tough and most of the girls were cultivating a slutty britney spears look. if this is representative of the youth of today (and i fear it is), we should all be very afraid. anyway, the kennedys' gravesite was interesting and the changing of the guard at the tomb of the unknowns was strangely compelling albeit in a fascistic, patriotic kind of way. the dudes that had sentinel duty are so robotic in their movements it makes you want to check the backs of their heads to see if there's some kind of wind-up mechanism back there. when they told everyone to remain silent during the ceremony, i kept having to fight a strange urge to yell out something profane...kind of like kai does at a baseball game.

i guess i should go do the hygiene thing since we're on our way shortly. i should have another stirring update on monday if i make it through the weekend. wish me luck...