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i'm not a martyr...but i am truth...and you are a liar
Sep. 4th, 2002 | 08:46 am
music: poison idea - feel the darkness
i've spent the last few weeks retreating from almost all social interaction. saturday before last after getting our asses handed to us in softball again, we had an ugly night of drinking. there was puking (not me, thankfully) and passing out (not me until after i stumbled home) and all that good stuff. even though i didn't puke or black out or anything, i put myself in harm's way during my long, drunken walk home. my recollection of how i got home was somewhat hazy, but i distinctly remember almost getting in a fight and someone in a car honking at me because i was in the road when i shouldn't have been. the next day, while nursing a miserable hangover, i got scared. i could've gotten my ass kicked or worse that night. the only thing that prevented it was dumb luck. in addition to being scared, i got pissed off at myself. i'm getting too old for this kind of shit. it's just fucking stupid and i've made up my mind not to do it again.
maybe i'm going to alienate some of my friends by not going out drinking with them, but i can't worry about it. i'm not going to be some self-righteous straight-edge prick and lecture people on the evils of drinking. people can do whatever they want. i'm just choosing not to partake. the only drinking i plan on doing is an occasional beer at home with dinner. i trust myself when i'm at home. i don't trust myself when i'm out at the bar. simple as that. man, i'm going to save a lot of money. if i can keep from smoking as well, i may be a rich man someday. well, maybe not rich...but perhaps i'll have enough to open a savings account. wouldn't that be the pinnacle of achievement?
i'm not sure if there's a connection between not drinking or smoking and avoiding human interaction, but the two are probably related. unfortunately, my lack of desire to go out resulted in yet more missed opportunities, namely the lost sounds, poison idea and hot snakes. knowing my luck, those bands will never play in SF again and i'll have to add them to my long list of bands i regret never having seen.
maybe i'm going to alienate some of my friends by not going out drinking with them, but i can't worry about it. i'm not going to be some self-righteous straight-edge prick and lecture people on the evils of drinking. people can do whatever they want. i'm just choosing not to partake. the only drinking i plan on doing is an occasional beer at home with dinner. i trust myself when i'm at home. i don't trust myself when i'm out at the bar. simple as that. man, i'm going to save a lot of money. if i can keep from smoking as well, i may be a rich man someday. well, maybe not rich...but perhaps i'll have enough to open a savings account. wouldn't that be the pinnacle of achievement?
i'm not sure if there's a connection between not drinking or smoking and avoiding human interaction, but the two are probably related. unfortunately, my lack of desire to go out resulted in yet more missed opportunities, namely the lost sounds, poison idea and hot snakes. knowing my luck, those bands will never play in SF again and i'll have to add them to my long list of bands i regret never having seen.