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Crazy
Sep. 29th, 2004 | 01:03 pm
Living in San Francisco, I've begun to realize how lucky I am to not be insane. I'm not talking about garden variety crazy. I'm sort of fucked up in the head at times. I have neuroses, anxieties, paranoid thoughts, etc. But on a day-to-day basis, I can function. I don't go around talking to myself, trying to piss in mailboxes, smearing shit on myself or any of the other things I constantly see people do. I walk the streets here every day and I see a lot of people who are just completely gone. We're talking stark raving loony tunes here.
Some of it I understand and I can sort of sympathize. For instance, the homeless folks that talk to themselves and stuff like that. I get that. If I was living on the streets, I'd probably be talking to myself and doing all kinds of weird shit just to get through the day. I wish there was a way to get people off the streets and get them help and all that, but it just ain't gonna happen in my lifetime and probably the next generation's lifetime. It's messed up.
I guess I've become kind of numb to things because the homeless crazy folks don't really get to me as much as you'd think. It's the seemingly well-off people whose insanity really freaks me out. Today at lunch, I saw some dude (who didn't look rich, but definitely didn't look to be homeless either) with an expensive laptop marching around with the laptop open playing some kind of cd or sound file or whatever of something that sounded like a British lady talking about war and police states and all that. I passed by the guy and took a look at him and he was just smiling vacantly, mumbling something and marching on. Maybe that doesn't seem too bad, but I'm telling you there was nobody fucking home there.
I see people like that all the time here. Is it living in San Francisco that does it? Or living in a country where someone like GWB is president? I don't know. I'm at a loss to explain it. I'm just glad that I'm not fucking crazy. Although I guess when you're crazy, you don't really know it so you're not suffering. I'm not sure what the point of all this is. It must be a desperate cry of boredom in the workplace.
Some of it I understand and I can sort of sympathize. For instance, the homeless folks that talk to themselves and stuff like that. I get that. If I was living on the streets, I'd probably be talking to myself and doing all kinds of weird shit just to get through the day. I wish there was a way to get people off the streets and get them help and all that, but it just ain't gonna happen in my lifetime and probably the next generation's lifetime. It's messed up.
I guess I've become kind of numb to things because the homeless crazy folks don't really get to me as much as you'd think. It's the seemingly well-off people whose insanity really freaks me out. Today at lunch, I saw some dude (who didn't look rich, but definitely didn't look to be homeless either) with an expensive laptop marching around with the laptop open playing some kind of cd or sound file or whatever of something that sounded like a British lady talking about war and police states and all that. I passed by the guy and took a look at him and he was just smiling vacantly, mumbling something and marching on. Maybe that doesn't seem too bad, but I'm telling you there was nobody fucking home there.
I see people like that all the time here. Is it living in San Francisco that does it? Or living in a country where someone like GWB is president? I don't know. I'm at a loss to explain it. I'm just glad that I'm not fucking crazy. Although I guess when you're crazy, you don't really know it so you're not suffering. I'm not sure what the point of all this is. It must be a desperate cry of boredom in the workplace.